dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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