Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize