Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize