i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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