I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
