Umm I'm too high to move.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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