I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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