Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize