Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
