i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
