you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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