1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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