And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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