So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The air taste purple.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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