You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
