You really coming over, don't trick.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
