I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
it's like heaven, but drunker
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
