How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
