you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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