this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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