I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize