Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize