im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
