Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My cat gives me a boner
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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