i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
