...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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