so explain again why im purple
no
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
