PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Randomize
