I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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