but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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