I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
