I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
