Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
