In America we eat man semen.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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