i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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