we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
My vagina just recognized that song.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
