and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
