I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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