why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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