Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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