Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
