Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
