your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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