All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
