Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize