I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
