I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Text me some of your sweat
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