Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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