ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
