smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
