Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
