You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
