I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize