i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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