STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
